NewKidInTown winked at me. I loathe winks. You know this. When will they ever learn? I’d spent two weeks ignoring 87 winks and a handful of e-mails from losers, illiterates and cut’n'paste jobs. And I really just wanted a date.
NewKidInTown was cute. And he was 6’3″. Those don’t come along too often.
So I wrote him.
Subject: I’m amazed
Body: by how few men must actually read my profile. You seem like you could be interesting. I’d like to hope you’d have more to say than a wink.
I hit send and then thought to myself that this was one of the bitchiest e-mails I’d ever sent to an online suitor. Poor guy. I was taking all my wink frustration out on him. He would read this, think I was a pain in the ass and not respond. Oh well.
He proved me wrong.
Hi. Thanks for the notice. I really enjoyed reading your profile. Would love to meet you over some drinks. If you’d like to chat over phone or text message first, my phone is 973 xxx xxxx Cheers – Rob
Well, that was more interesting and assertive than a wink.
Much better, Rob
I’d be happy to meet you for drinks.
I’m available Monday or Tuesday of next week if either night works for you.
Let me know and we can make a plan.
Staci
He was quick to write back.
Monday’s perfect! Let’s shoot for drinks after work. Have a great night.
I was looking forward to it. I hadn’t been on a date since the disaster with Didier. I’d put myself back out there, but hadn’t come across anyone I had any desire to meet until now. In fact, the men who’d been contacting me lately were so godawful that I’d started to think that perhaps it was best to stick to my original plan and take a break from dating for a while. But then NewKidInTown came along. And I decided to give it another shot.
He and I went back and forth over e-mail, playfully learning the basics about one another. He didn’t seem to be all that funny, but he was smart and interesting and well-traveled. He was in his late-mid forties and had never been married. That always gives me pause, but then I’ve not been married either, so far be it for me to judge. Also, he was living in Jersey. In the same town as Didier. That worked out so well last time. But at least Rob worked in the city.
Sunday night, while waiting for a call to confirm our plans, an e-mail arrived.
Hi StacyWe may have to postpone our meetingI am going out of town on tuesWill be in touchTake careRob
Sent from my iPhone
Really, Jagbag? After all of our e-mails, you’re going to cancel on me less than 24 hours before we meet with an e-mail in which you spell my name wrong? I was annoyed.
Ok. Travel safely.
-Staci (with an “I”)Sent from MY iPhone
And then I removed my profile from Match.com. If e-mails like these were going to make me angry, it was time for a break. Rob has my phone number if he wants to call. Which he won’t. And that’s fine.
I’m on Dating Vacation. It’s summer in the city. And this single girl is going to do what she does best. Enjoy it
.
That’s a pretty crappy postponement email. Why does being out of town on Tuesday mean that he can’t meet on Monday? But I know there’s nothing to be gained from trying to cajole someone into un-cancelling.
Is the thread title a double-reference to Little Britain? I hadn’t realised that the programme had established itself in the US.
I’m with you, Matt. Lame lame lame. I also don’t think it had anything to do with his travel, really. I think he just changed his mind. Lots of folks flake online. He just happened to tell me he was going to, and that’s OK.
As for the double reference, it was purely unintentional. But, yes, Little Britain has made its way across the pond, and I’d pay good money to put Vicky Pollard up against this guy and see what happens. Most likely? Nothing. But it would be fun (and confusing) to watch.
For those of you who don’t know the character, here’s a little taste.
I think sometimes a dating break is the best response! Enjoy yourself, refresh yourself from all of the wink mania, and maybe you might want to enter the storm again. Maybe. He.
30ty,
I will surely step back in the ring one of these days.
Maybe.
Er
Yes.
But no.
Wait, no, YES!
Staycee,
Don’t forget that, although dating sites are a good channel, there are still a lot more traditional ways of meeting people.
So just take a break from ONLINE dating. Now go get hammered and meet dudes in a bar!
Or, you know, some other venue.
Caylub
Caylub,
I’m hammered as a write from the lap of three dudes at a bar.
Not really.
But yes, online is not the only way to meet men, and I have not declared myself dead.
There will still be tales to tell. Of this, I’m certain.
Or at least I hope.
Because if not, I’ll lose you. And that would stink more than online dating sometimes does
xxoo
Stacer
Love that you were bitchy in your response. Guys need to hear that sometimes. And if he can’t handle the honesty, I say to hell with him. Enjoy your dating break. You’ve earned it. I imagine you probably have tons of fun all by yourself, so who needs a man anyway?
Thanks, Catherine! I will have tons of fun. I don’t need a man. But that doesn’t preclude me from wanting one. But for the time being, I won’t be actively looking. What I’ll write about? We’ll have to see ;-p
Hi Staci,
If I could wave my wand and magically produce a single, relatively baggage and drama free, tall, good looking man in his early 40′s, living in NY, who will love and respect you (and you him!) I would do it. In fact, already would have. But as we all know, finding true love is not that easy.
Taking a break from online dating is the right idea. Instead of weeding through winks and flakes, why don’t you make it a point to go some where new and different everyday. At the very least you will have some fun and find some new cool places. Really go off your beaten path! Surprise us readers!
Lisa,
THANK YOU! Yours is such a kind and compassionate comment paired with one of the Best. Ideas. Ever.
I know that finding love isn’t easy, nor do i think it should be. Going someplace new and different every single day isn’t either, but I’m up for the challenge.
Stay tuned for the tales…
xxoo
Lucky Girl,
Thank you for reminding me of one of the many things I don’t miss about dating, and in fact one of the things that use to drive me wonkers: the 11th hour bailout. I’m pitching my blog to a local outlet and was going through some old posts…I think you’ll get a kick out of this one
Icarus – sorry it took me so long to respond to this one. Been traveling for work with little time for much else. The 11th hour bailout (or any other for that matter) is never fun to be on the opposite end of. But I understand that people change their minds. I’ve been guilty of it in my life, as are many men who’ve proposed to meet me. In reading your post, however, I sadly have a fourth possibility to add to your list. And that is, quite simply, that she changed her mind. Just as NewKidInTown did. And rather than own up to it, the “I’m kinda seeing someone” excuse was far easier than honesty.
Of course, we’ll never know which truth it was. We rarely come to know that in this dating dance…
I am so with you girl! The same crap on match happens to me and I couldn’t have said it better than you did in this blog post. I just came across your blog and will definitely be following you. Hope you’ll do the same.
Best,
American Bridget —- cynical girl trying to find love in a sea of anchovies and cod.
Thanks, Bridget! Looking forward to catching up on your adventures!
xxoo
LG