So read yet another mystifying e-mail from the ever-amusing accounting department in India.
But lemme tell you something, it got me thinking. Mostly about my needs. Which have nothing to do with accounting or India (though more money and some travels would also be nice).
OK Cupid has been a wasteland lately. Even Plenty of Fish appears to have gone on summer vacation. But not Nerve. Nerve is wide awake and lined up for the summer fun. Strangely, I hadn’t logged in there in ages when the e-mails started flying in. Some from seemingly interesting men.
BookOfCod wrote me more than a month ago. He had only one photo and in it he was wearing sunglasses. Hey – does anyone know what Joey Ramone looked like without his sunglasses? No? Me either. I assume this is not a good sign. But his profile was interesting enough and so was the note he’d sent. Unfortunately, I was leaving for LA for the month and wasn’t able to meet him. So I waved goodbye to that one like a sizzling Sea of Shells firecracker on the Fourth of July. Obviously, I would never hear from him again.
Not so fast, Lucky Girl. Because, you see, as luck would have it, BookOfCod hasn’t forgotten you yet. And, luckier still, comes a welcome change to his profile. BookOfCod added a photo. One where you can see his face. And, turns out, coddamn, he’s cute.
There was another thing that changed in BookOfCod’s profile, however. He had gone from being a man in search of a relationship to a man in search of play. I am amused by the irony of a cod-christened suitor employing this Bait and Switch.
I don’t usually respond to messages from men in search of play, nor do I typically agree to go out on dates with them. But when BookOfCod’s e-mail arrived asking me to meet him for a drink this week, well, let’s just say I wanted to forward him that e-mail from India. Minus the part about my expense report.
.
I have yet to find a guy online who really meant he wanted something serious. They might put something other than play, but I have learned it’s to trick those who don’t want guys just out for play.
I think I’ve met all kinds, some who truly want relationships and others whose sole definition of “relationship” would surely be “one night stand”, but I do agree with you Amanda, and I’d have to say I do respect a man for at least being honest.
Why ignore the “play” guys? Really, isn’t that what it’s about? The point of meeting people, dating, going out, etc. is to have fun. Fun = play. If you pass over the option of “play” for anything else, you’re either A) boring as shit and a clinger or B) lying. If it’s ‘B’, then that’s usually because women won’t respond to a guy who admits up front he wants to play.
Done it myself.
I, however, DO want to play. If you really enjoy playing with someone over time, you’ll keep doing it, and then- lo and behold- you’re in a relationship! But if you set out with a list of demands and expectations you’re setting yourself for disappointment.
I say it’s playtime! Just do it responsibly. Well, mostly responsibly anyway.
PS “coddamn” heh heh
Caleb,
Is there a “C” option? Because I’d hate to think that I’m a Lying, Boring as shit, Class-A Clinger!
Truth is, of course I want play. As part of the package. Just not the only part. I’ve had that before, and the truth is it broke my heart because I developed feelings which were unrequited.
That said, I think I’ve come to agree with you. As Amanda said, she’s yet to encounter a guy online who really wanted something serious. I have. He was of the choice “A” variety. Next. So, I’m still probably not going to troll through profiles looking for guys who only want play, but neither will I be so quick to dismiss them. Because you’re right – “if you really enjoy playing with someone over time, you keep doing it and then – lo and behold – you’re in a relationship.”
So yes, Game On! Thanks for the wise words
xxoo
Staci
I’m practically rolling on the ground giggling at all the puns and delicious fish references. Seriously I can barely contain myself (which is awesome after the rage of last night I’m tellin’ ya! lol)
So I’m totally with you, on being leary of play etc. And really there are two possibilities. Either he’s A) looking for play and whatever happens happens or B) he’s only looking for play, no matter what …but either way these days I say go anyway and then figure it out. Plus. Seriously. I’m dying to hear an entire date filled with fishy details.
SSD, I’d have to be a Harelip Sucker to try and write a post about this Hornyhead Chub using all fish references. It would be a whole lotta White Crappie :-p
When I first signed on to POF I checked “hang out” because I wanted a guy to hang out with… meaning movies, drinks, central park… whatever. I was quickly schooled on what “hang out” really means.
I swear I’m so naive sometimes! LOL
I too avoid the “play”, “casual sex”, “whatever I can get” guys because my experience has been that when their actions line up with their words, they dont feel bad about it. They usually just send girls off with a “you know what you were getting into” or “I was very upfront with you” and I find that annoying.
xoxo
CeCe, that’s hysterical. I adore you and your naivete! Happy belated birthday, sugar pie!
xxoo
Staci
“coddamn”? LOVE.
Well, if you ever want to do the Needful, clothing-wise, there’s a store for that