I wanted to believe everything Didier had said. I chose to believe it. I did believe it.
He’d finally left me that night leaning in my doorway, still weak from the power of his kiss and smiling with the promise of our next meeting. He’d almost left two other times earlier, but our kiss goodnight landed him back in my apartment and in the kitchen, on the couch, the living room floor and in my bed. We’d shared another night of amazingly satisfying intimacy, followed by pillow talk that had my heart swooning.
He was soft-spoken as he shared stories of his parents and grandparents before them and stories of being a father. The importance of being a father. The struggle and uncertainty of wanting to get it right and knowing you make mistakes along the way. He spoke beautifully of his children. He spoke beautifully of his ex-wife. I admired this. He told me about his career and goals. The way he spoke about all of it was intoxicating, hypnotic. He came across as kind and thoughtful, generous, certain, dedicated and passionate. He was happy in his life. He was satisfied with his chosen priorities. And I was satisfied with him.
I had no reason to think I wouldn’t see him again. He’d told me he would call and that he would come to the city next week to see me. The next day, he emailed me.
After the 3 day management meeting in NYC, I am glad to be home and to spend the weekend with the kids…as usual mainly running after them and playing at local playgrounds, maybe going to the zoo…in brief getting exercise without having to go to the gym! What about you? Any fun plans for the weekend?
After checking my availability in the coming week, the likelihood that I can come to the city is low. I have another very busy week at work, and plans most evenings with colleagues, friends or the kids.
Enjoy the weekend!
OXO.
I was disappointed. I understood that this was the reality of getting involved with someone raising two children and who lived two hours away from me, but the thought of not being able to see him for a couple weeks? Well, it felt like getting the best birthday present ever only to have it taken away, put back on the shelf and assured I’d get it back the following year. I’m not the most patient person. I hated the thought of having to wait. But I would. Of course I would. Anything worth having is worth waiting for.
I wrote him back.
of course i understand, but I’m still incredibly sad to think that I won’t see you this week
If anything changes let me know. If it made it easier, I would be happy to take a train out to meet you somewhere closer/easier, but that may not make a difference….As for the weekend, we drove out to Montauk today and our next door neighbors at our hotel are AWESOME!!! Their son is a Lobster fisherman, so they invited us to dinner and we’ve been eating and drinking and singing Irish songs (that I don’t know) with them all night. Best. Night. Ever. They’re amazing. I’m particularly in love with the matriarch, grandmother extraordinaire!I’m going fishing with them tomorrow, which will be a blast! I’ll fill you in on the fun details when I see you – which I really, really hope is soon.Sad Staci
xxoo
I didn’t think this was SO awful at the time. At the time I thought it was playful and honest and understanding. But of course after I had five days to run it over and over in my head I wish I hadn’t written back quickly and that I hadn’t said what I did. I wish I’d been more aloof. And I hate that I wish that. I don’t like that I spend so much time second guessing the behavior and thoughts and expressions that come naturally to me. I am saddened that just being myself never, ever seems to work. But it didn’t. I didn’t hear back from him. I was heartbroken. Crushed. And confused.
I know he had the kids and was busy all weekend and the coming week. But this was a man who until now had e-mailed me every day. And now, nothing but radio silence.
Add to this the worst part of internet dating: I can see that he’s been online. Every single day. It’s not this that I mind. I understand that this is a part of dating online, even though it’s perhaps the hardest part of dating online. I’m hurt by the fact that it’s not that he’s been too busy to write, but that he’s chosen not to. This from the same man that fed me a whole story about how it had taken him three days to write some other woman to tell her that he didn’t think they were a fit. Or does my blow off e-mail just take more time?
I felt hurt and rejected, and there was nothing I could do. I kept thinking that he was just waiting until he could see me. After all, I had said to let me know if anything in his schedule changed. But this just didn’t feel right. This felt like a brush off.
I suppose I knew this would happen the minute I brought him home the first date. I guess I just expected different results after there had been a second. Einstein’s insanity, realized. Again.
I’ve tried so hard to put it out of my mind, but my thoughts keep drifting back to him. My feelings are hurt. I don’t understand. Whatever changed, whatever reason he’s not writing me, I want to believe that it has nothing to do with me, but I’m having a hard – actually impossible time – believing that. Because really what I believe is that it’s always about us. Or rather their perception of us. Their rejection of us. This felt like a huge rejection and I am left feeling stupid and embarrassed and hurt and really very sad.
I spent days feeling weepy over some asshole that I basically just fucked a couple times and created a stupid fantasy for. Because I guess that’s all it ever was or was going to be. And that made me feel even worse.
So I’m taking a little time to lick my wounds, to remember that Didier’s estimation of me and how he discarded me does not define me. What defines me is how I live my life. How I love. Who I surround myself with. What I spend my time doing and thinking about. The happiness I have. The optimism I possess. My never-ending faith that I will one day find who I’m looking for. I’m smart, funny, pretty and kind. Successful, strong and interesting.
I am so much more than Didier ever knew or took the time to find out. And at least I found that out relatively quickly.
.
If a mail of that magnitude, managed to freak Didier out, I’m curious to know how he would react to in the Big Picture…
But, that doesn’t stop us from hoping. From waiting. From trying again and from exposing the soft vulnerable mush…Anything for the weak knees and the to-die-for kisses.
Sigh. Where’s that plate of cheese cake, when you need comforting?
June,
With time to think behind me, I’m fairly certain that it wasn’t my e-mail that freaked him out. I imagine his decision and withdrawal happened before my response ever came. It had happened before that moment that he reneged on his word to come to the city to see me the next week. Of course, you couldn’t be more right about the hoping, waiting and trying again. All of which I will do.
As for that cheesecake, I think I’m going to stay away from her. In the words of a wise friend, “Food is not your friend. Food is the backstabbing bitch in highshool.” Now, if it were chocolate we were talking about? Well, that’s an entirely different story :-p
Besides, who needs the comfort of cheesecake when I have your words?
xxoo
Staci
I’m really sad to hear that this story has ended up here. It seemed so promising just a couple of posts ago. I’m doubly disappointed that he may be pulling a vanishing act – I wouldn’t have guessed this of him (and I’m still hoping that he’ll get back in touch again, at the very least to explain himself.)
Your blog is a delightful testament to your warmth, intelligence, humour, and abundance of interesting ideas, and I’m happy to be following the excitements and disappointments and cheering your corner. You mentioned that Didier hadn’t clarified what he was looking for – it seems that maybe he wasn’t looking for an attractive, thoughtful, playful, wonderful woman, because he found her and he’s letting her slip away. He’s missing his chance to be a Lucky Guy.
Matt,
This comment is so beautiful and heartfelt that it has literally made me cry. These words I’m typing are blurred through my tears. Thank you so much for your kindness and compassion.
xxoo
Staci
Staci,
You perfectly summed up something I have such a hard time summing up with friends. The let down that happens when a person just doesn’t follow through on what they said. You think you are on the same page they promised to see you again and then you get nothing. I constantly wonder what it is that I have done. I know that logically it is not something I have done, but after the millionth time you think no way world is it that there is not something wrong with me.
I’ve taken a break from online and off line dating. I am trying to apply for jobs so at the moment I can only handle one type of rejection. It is sad that I can draw a similarity between dating and a job search. When did that happen?
Megs
Megs,
Stay tuned for some upcoming posts which deal with this issue in much more depth. The truth is that the disappearing act can make the most sane of us go crazy. It can make the most beautiful, intelligent, strong and secure woman doubt herself. It hardly makes any sense. Whether it be the first time, or the millionth time, we can’t help but wonder what it is that we’ve done wrong. And of course we do, because we have been kicked to the curb in the most painful of ways. The way which outwardly appears to say that we are not even worthy of an explanation. But THAT is the facade. The reality is that these men have their own reasons for disappearing, which for starters include immaturity and cowardice, and so often have nothing to do with us, or at the very least who we really are. But my god I know this pain, we all do.
As for your break, good for you! Good for knowing when you need to recharge and for taking that time! We all take them, and we all need them. Like a vacation from a job, or a rest after a marathon (not that I’d know anything about that because there’s no way that I’d EVER choose to run 26.2 miles, but you get my drift). We need to recharge because your analogy is not incorrect. Looking for a mate IS work. It is hard. And it should be. Why would we expect that finding a LIFE PARTNER would be easy? In theory, perhaps finding employment ought to be easier!
Good luck on your job search! I hope you find one that is infinitely better than Didier, and then I hope you find your dream guy!
xxoo
Staci
Lucky Girl, first time on the blog and was moved by your post. Very honest and I can acutely relate. In fact, its a topic I’ve written about on our blog more than a few times. What is hurtful here, in my opinion, is not the disappointment of it not working out –but the indignity of being ignored and brushed off without explanation. The fact is that, in online dating, we all KNOW that we can be seen when we log-in, so why does he not see that a goodbye email is far less cruel than to ignore someone and openly seek new dates in front of them? To me, the “fade out” is the single worst dating habit out there. You deserve better!
Jess,
Welcome to How Very Lucky!!! Thank you so much for reading and for commenting. I don’t think I had any idea the chord I would strike in this post, but then again, I was kinda busy feeling sorry for myself when I wrote it. I needed to go through that, as I imagine we all do, to come out on the other end with the clarity and self-assuredness that was within me all along. How right you are that the disappointment is not in the rejection but in the manner of its employment. I have a myriad of thoughts on the subject of the “fade-out” and those posts will come to life over the coming weeks. I look forward to the dialogue they invite and what I will learn from that. I also look forward to exploring your blog!!!
I really admire that you can share this story with us. My question is, how much real time passes between your adventures and your posts? I’m guessing that mult-posts like Didier would have to show some promise before becoming blog worthy, but letting too much time pass might fade some of the details. And of course the way this one ended might be too painful to share too soon.
Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Don’t think of him as some asshole that [you] basically just fucked a couple times and created a stupid fantasy for”. Think of him as someone who taught you something that you will need some day in the future, even though you do not know what that something is right now.
Icarus,
Thank you so much for that! It was hard to share this story – that, in part, is the reason for my delay in publishing it. I was writing from the start, so the details remained as fresh as my memory, but for whatever reason, I’d felt resistant to publish it right away. I don’t know if this was the result of being enamored with Didier and wanting to keep the story to myself, for ourselves, or if perhaps on some level I was protecting myself from what I didn’t want to hear – the possibility that all of you could see clearly through something I wanted to be precious but that was not. When it all came to a crashing halt, I wavered over whether to share the story. I felt painfully embarrassed. I can’t say why. You, my readers, have always been so supportive and kind, but there was a part of me, the part that is always so very hard on myself, that couldn’t help but think that all of you would judge me as harshly as I was judging myself. That you would step back and say that there was something dreadfully wrong with me because each and every guy seems to slip away. But, they all slip away, until ONE doesn’t. As you say, not every relationship is meant to last forever.
You are right to advise me not to think of him in such crass terms. With some time apart from it, I no longer do. But that was how I felt when I wrote the piece, and so I left it in tact when I posted this. Today, what I believe is that we did like one another. We shared a connection and a chemistry and an attraction that was undeniable. I was available. He was not. I am grateful for having had that connection and for being unafraid to put myself out there. And I am grateful that he took his exit before I had more invested and more to lose.
I’m also grateful that I did tell this story. As I said to Jess, I had no idea of the chord it would strike. I am moved, overwhelmed and overjoyed that setting this pain free in my story has created a chain reaction of comfort and strength that I am both receiving from all of you and offering out to those who need it. That is the single best gift I received from Didier.
I’ve been a lurker to your blog for a while but had to post today as it touched me deeply. I’ve just experienced something similar – several wonderful dates with what I thought was a great guy only to not hear from him again. I woke up today doubting myself and wondering what I had done wrong. But then I read your blog and the last paragraph brought tears to my eyes – it’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!
Jen, thank you for reading my stories and for coming out of hiding today
I’m so sorry to hear about your similar experience. I know how very much it hurts. I also know how hard it is for us to hold on to our strength and beauty, worth and all that is wonderful about us when someone treats us like this. It’s so hard not to judge ourselves.
I’m glad that my words have given you some comfort. The fact that they do, and that I’m not alone in my pain, is comforting to me. Let’s both hold to them.
We dodged a bullet, you and I. These men, they were not deserving of us, they do not define us, and they certainly are unworthy of the throne we might have given them to our kingdoms.
But the man who is? He’s out there!
I hope you will continue to lurk (and comment). There are some posts in the coming weeks that I think may resonate with you.
Warm hugs,
Staci
staci, i love your honesty, the raw emotions that you share with us in your writing. i am sorry that you are hurt and disappointed. hugs sweet girl.
ps. i’m going to end my radio silence. i would hate to cause anyone to feel what you are feeling.
Lan, every comment from you is a hug! Thank you so much.
xxoo
Staci
Ugh, I so so hate this too! I don’t think you should think anything is wrong with you. He’s the jerk/coward/a-hole who didn’t have the decency to even send an email ending things. In the couple of situations I’ve had like this, I’ve actually sent emails telling the person that I think their behavior is rude. You may not want to do that, but I know it made me feel better for them to know.
I in no way think that your email to him freaked him out. It was a perfectly normal email to send to someone that you were seeing. If we can’t be who we are, then what is the point of the relationship?! Chin up!
30ty, I agree with you, and said the same above to June. It wasn’t my e-mail that precipitated his disappearance. That is something having to do with him, the facts of which I may not ever know. In truth, I don’t need to know, but I agree with you that it’s high time for guys to “man-up” and have the decency to end things with the woman whose world they’ve chosen to barge in on. I don’t ever wish to change who I am to be in a relationship, but I think I may need to better manage my hopes, expectations, observations and restraint – at least in the beginning…
Oh, sweetie we’ve all been there. Absolutely everyone who has tried online dating has a tale like this to tell. And it hurts like hell, it really does. No-one wants to feel like a fool, as if they’ve been played or fallen for a fantasy. The important thing is that we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down and keep on going.
Online dating can be tough going – there really are some fools, immature little boys and arrogant idiots out there for certain – but that’s true of all the different ways we try to find a connection with someone else. The thing to remember is that in time all this will pass, you will come out the other side stronger than before, and you will keep going.
I do think it is a good idea to have a break from the online dating saga every now and then. I found a phase of rejection after rejection got pretty tough to take and bowed out for a few weeks to lick my wounds and when I came back to it I had a new outlook on the whole thing.
You will come through this and you will move on. Every relationship we have, however brief, teaches us something about ourselves but it takes distance to give you the perspective to see what that is. You’ll get there.
In the meantime I can really recommend a book that helped me a lot when I went through a rough time earlier this year: Meeting Your Half-Orange by Amy Spencer. I’m not a fan of ‘self-help’ books, especially ones that focus on finding the man of your dreams, but this was a good little read that helped to get me to see things from a different, more positive perspective and approach the whole dating merry-go-round in a much better way.
Good luck and keep your chin up!
T
x
Tuppence,
I’m happy to see you here!!! And I love your comment. In fact, if I could step outside of myself and write myself a letter full of wisdom, it would be the very comment you have posted here. We obviously see eye to eye on a great many things, and I hope to keep you along my side to remind me of what I ought to be thinking in moments I forget!
As for Amy Spencer and Meeting your Half-Orange, I am a big fan. I actually wrote about her some time ago, here. I love that her words had a similar value to you, though judging from your comment, perspective and attitude, I’m hardly surprised!
Chin’s up! And thanks for being in my corner!
xxoo
Staci
Stace! (pronounced “Stay-ss”)
Would it be insensitive of me to point to my “don’t bone him right away” comment? I won’t then. Also, you can refer to my comment about a different guy and how he was a girl-getter to the extreme (like this guy). These guys know how to ‘appear’ to a woman so as to conquer her quickly.
However, I’d point out that whether it was on the first date or the 5th, a guy like this is a conqueror and would “fade out ” (PS Jess- love that term!!) whenever he felt he had ‘won’ you. You, in theory, could have played aloof and unconquerable until you had him ensconced in your web, but then there you would be; pretending to be someone you’re not, miserable, and dating a fade-outer who had ego and insecurity issues.
And why date a Frenchie just for all that? If that’s really what you want, just call me. I’m way easier to deal with.
I wouldn’t go on a Didier-bashing spree, either. He does his thing, you do yours, and like you said neither of you define the other. Don’t let some Jagbag change how you approach dating or how you feel about yourself. There are all sorts of relationships out there; just take each as it is and with a grain of salt.
And come on- a Frenchy? What’d you expect?
Caleb
Caleb,
I’ve been thinking about the “bone him right away” thing, and I’ve decided a couple things. One: I’m glad I did, because I had fun, and he was going to be out whether or not I did, as you well point out. Two: Boning them right away is a bad idea until one of them sticks around.
On another note, I had no idea you were French! What’s your number? Bet you’re bummed that you gave me that “don’t bone them right away” advice now! hahaha.
There will be no Didier bashing. In fact, I did like him, and I still do. I don’t like how he chose to behave, but that doesn’t change the fact that we shared something special and that for whatever reason, he’s chosen not to move forward with it. I can’t know his reasons, but I can chalk it up to him doing me a favor and I can move on, a little bit braver, a little more scared, but moving nonetheless…
I heart you, Caleb. You always make me smile
Beautifully written and love the imagery so at least you have that! (And I’d like a bit of it – the all over the house bit!) You are a lucky girl.
Elizabeth
Elizabeth,
Bogey and Bergman may always have Paris. But I will always have my kitchen, couch, living room floor and bed. And the memory of how fun that was.
Hopefully, the next guy will stick around to enjoy it more…
xxoo
Staci
Staci,
So sorry it ended this way. Didier is not worth you or all you have to give. Like so many others have stated we have all been there. I can so relate to your blog posts, I met my husband of 5 + years on an on line dating site but prior to meeting him I had many shared dating experiences (one guy showed up all sweaty and gnarly and he couldn’t shut up….he was on speed!!! Great first impression right???) Anyhow, I am sorry that you are feeling sad and disappointed, Didier was an important stepping stone on your path to Mr. Right. Trust your intuition, you said in the first post about him something about being a bit concerned about the sexual nature of the conversation…so in some way I think you clued yourself in…anyhow, the right guy is out there…it’s hard to really believe when you are still looking but he is!!!
Thanks, Pilecat! I was sad to see it end this way as well. Thank you for reminding me that I’m hardly alone, that I haven’t had to date “Speedy” Gonzalez (yet), for restoring my faith, and for reminding me that my instincts and intuition are in perfect working condition
Staci, I fall in love with you anytime you laugh, lose a Slim Jim, make a jalapeno margarita, or forget we had grilled peaches. I feel sorry for this Didier character that is missing out on the best catch online or off. I feel sorry for you that this Jagbag (my new favorite word) has toyed with your emotions, but only a little bit sorry, because deep down I know this will one day just be a funny story and a nice sex memory that you will use to torment your adoring husband.
Natasha,
I’m sure my future adoring husband will look forward to hearing all about the “nice sex memories” I’ve amassed over the last twenty-odd years!
I fell in love with you, my dear friend, from your very first note of karaoke – or was it your beer pong game? We’ll call it a tie. My love grew with each laugh. I lost a Slim Jim loving you. I love you for the murder of Pete & Larry (a most delicious lobster dinner, I might add). I love you for being the only person that can get me to eat Chinese food. And I love you for indulging my jalapeno margarita disaster, as well as “allegedly” consuming said grilled peaches with me. I love you for the woman, wife, mother, friend and exceptional person you are.
I am lucky because I have the best life and the best friends, and when I find the right guy – the one who has to build an addition to our house so that he can have more rooms than Didier got, well, in addition to being a bigger, nicer house, it will be pretty darn wonderful.
Love you, Nata!
Staci, you seem like a nice girl. It sounds like you want a real relationship. Not to be mean but save yourself some heartache and dont spread your legs so easily. If you wait some time you can get to know them and see their true colors and better if they are worth waiting for.
Jgo,
I think you’ll find if you were to read How Very Lucky in its entirety that I’m not typically one to “spread my legs so easily”. I’ve written about this before. I’ve struggled with it. The need to be a sexual being and my understanding that I tend to form an attachment to someone after I’ve been intimate with them and that this attachment can often be misleading or misunderstood. In fact, this is not unique to me. It is a biological, physiological truth that oxytocin is released in the body, generally triggered by touch, and that women are more susceptible and affected by this pituitary hormone. It quite literally makes us feel an attachment.
Now this would be a great argument for the deferment of sexual intimacy until such time as you’ve come to know your partner were it not for another reality. The reality of “Skin Hunger” – the need for a human being to be touched lovingly. So sign me up for all the massages in the world. Manicures, Pedicures, Hugs from friends. But none of those things are a substitute for sex, and so sometimes, I make the decision to have it, knowing that it may not get me what I ultimately seek. I knew that the moment I stood outside my apartment that first night with Didier, and I consciously made the decision to bring him home, assuming that would likely be the end of the road for us and knowing all too well, that when he left, he’d be taking with him feelings and a trust that hadn’t necessarily been rightfully earned.
I like to think I’m a nice girl. And I would like a real relationship. But until I find myself in one, I’m a human being with sexual needs like the rest of us. Sometimes, I’m going to make the decision to fill those needs. I don’t think there is a hard and fast rule about when the time is right, which is why, although it hasn’t worked for me in the past, I try to be open to the possibilities. In the words of a dear friend, “Sex on a first date is only wrong until you marry the one you had sex with on the first date.” This is not to say that I expect to “first-date fling” my way into a marriage, or that I expected any such thing from Didier. Only that I didn’t expect him to vanish, and, at first, he didn’t. And so, my mind ran amok with the possibility of Didier, until I found myself where I now stand. A little satisfied, a little wounded, a little braver, and ready to move-on.
All of that being said, I do agree with you, and although I will continue to believe that anything is possible, I tend to think that I’ll end up with a man that I took the time to get to know first.
I hope you’ll stay with me and see…
Thanks for your comment and advice!
xxoo
Staci
No, I’m not French. I was saying why date some Frenchie for all that? Implying that you could get that kind of hassle without all the lame Frenchness.
Sorry for the confusion.
I’ll forgive you calling me French, but just this once!
Caleb
“Boning them right away is a bad idea until one of them sticks around”
Soooo True…now I’ve been known to be slutterific, slutmazing and to run amuck in total slutdamonium…and sometimes it’s been total disasters (ie. Twitter Guy & Lindsay’s Law) but other times it’s been total awesome sauce (ie. Intelligence Officer)…and the thing is…Mega Love…that beautiful man that I loved (and who loved me back with all his heart)…and I…we did it…right away…boned that very first night…so really…it could go either way.
And I really don’t know what the answer is. Because though I rally around “do what you want when you want and if he’s the one you want who wants you…he won’t judge and it won’t matter”. I’ve also got my two most recent experiences to look on. One so unbelievably disasterous that from it sprung a new guideline for myself (something I’ve never adhered to/believed in my entire life before now)…which is…nothing more than kissing and some harmless over the bra action on a first date. And the other (being Trucker Joe) waiting 4 dates for a first kiss that left me (and my readers) swooning….but who knows…maybe after 5 dates he bails…so basically after this long-drawn-out-diatribe…here is what I know.
Absolutely nothing except that I heart you. That and I just want to give a little “up top” *high five gesture* to Caleb and you for your use of the word boning…as I am a big fan. I’ve also been known to love the word “boner” so much so that it was a nickname of mine. Just Sayin’ True Story.
Dear Boner,
I heart you too, you slutatastic woman!
xxoo
Staci
Staci,
Thanks for the reply. I fully understand what you said and I think it makes a lot of sense. What did Didier’s profile say about his desire to form a relationship? Did he say he wanted one of was it more vague? Just curious. And I do see how in this particular case the signals were mixed which probably makes all of this harder for you. But you should try to save yourself this kind of trouble in the future by avoiding going after those who are not really available or who are safe. This is something I did for a long time. That’s why I was asking about Didier’s profile.
Anyway, I meant to say in my last comment that I follow quite a few blogs and I think yours is much more well written than most. So keep up the good work.
I put my real email address this time as I see it does not get published.
Jgo,
You’re most welcome. I do try to reply to all of my comments whenever possible, and I really appreciated yours.
Unfortunately, the problem with Didier’s profile (and Match, in general) is that there is no section or question allowing for disclosure of what a member is looking for as can be found on other sites. Granted, that’s not necessarily the most accurate indicator either, as many men on other sites tend to state that they are in search of lasting relationships because they know that checking off “casual encounter” is unlikely to get them a roll in the hay. So, the consequence of the limitations of Match and the dishonesty of some is that I can’t ever really know until I do. I had my questions about Didier from the beginning, but I went with it, until I got my answer. Hopefully next time will be different, but I can’t really say.
I’m so very grateful to have you among my readers and am completely humbled by your praise. I love writing. It is new(ish) to me, and I aspire only to get better over time. I hope that the challenges, demand and inspiration of people like you will help get me there!
Thank you so much for the kind words and praise! I hope I can continue to publish material that you enjoy!
xxoo
Staci
Staci –
My heart aches for you, pure and simple. Having just been broken up with myself a few weeks ago, I can relate all too well. But in the end, you’re right to believe that you’re smart and funny and beyond wonderful. And in time, this experience will be one of many that enrich your life and experiences.
I’ll take this time to post a link to a spoken word poem by Vanessa Hidary. She is a kick ass woman in every sense of the words, and I think you’ll appreciate what she has to say. Lord knows she says it better than I ever could! Enjoy!! The poem is entitled “Fling Gone Awry”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc0c-n5PTJo
Feel better soon, sweetie.
Alison,
Your words of encouragement are a soft blanket on a chilly night. Thank you for this. And thank you for introducing me to Vanessa Hidary! I love this piece.
“My pussy burns in a feminist hall of shame because I want to be called someone’s girl”. Yes. She said it better than I ever could, too.
I’m so sorry to hear about your break up. I hope you’re feeling better, as well, my dear. May the next ones to come along “fuck us like Brooklyn” and may they be more than a fling gone awry.
Much love,
Staci
Ah Staci, your words moved me. This story could have been written by all doing online dating, not so eloquently though. Seeing them online when you haven’t heard from them really hurts.
Constance! I’ve missed you around here
Thank you for your kind words. It is a hard fact of internet dating, the one of seeing your suitors there shopping for alternatives while you’ve been cast aside wondering where things went wrong. Rarely do those answers present themselves, but time and distance apart from it has been a source of healing for me. I’ve moved on. Happily. Confidently. And hopefully.
xxoo
Staci